The Creativity Project: All of the Feelings
That was unexpected.
Of all the feelings I’ve had on this journey, crying uncontrollably was not one that I expected. Especially not multiple times in one day.
Let me backtrack a bit. My proof copy of my debut novel showed up last week and I did an unboxing of it on my YouTube channel. I cried.
Obviously, those were not tears of sadness. I’m not even sure what emotion I can place with them: relief, excitement, fear, who knows? This book marks the end of a long journey and the beginning of a new one.
I’ve wanted to be published for a long time. Like three quarters of my life long. And now, that part of my writing journey is over. Maybe I’m mourning a little because I need to find another goal. Maybe I’m a little sad that it took this long to overcome the negative voices in my past that said I couldn’t do it.
After I finished recording my video, I called my mom and bawled like a baby. Like so hard that she couldn’t understand me. Once I calmed down, I thought that was the end of the big emotions.
Nope, not even close.
Cried a bit when the hubby came home and we had a celebratory dinner. Bawled like a baby when I got off the phone with my sister because she said she was proud of me (but I held it together while we talked). Cried again when I was talking with my friends about it.
I shouldn’t be surprised with all of the tears because I cry at the drop of a hat. Angry? Tears. Sappy commercial? Tears. Random slightly sad thought? Tears.
This last week has been a roller coaster of emotions. I’m just grateful to all of the people who’ve helped me along the way. And a little nervous for the next stage of the journey.
