Not Ready
Getting comfortable with not being comfortable.
Race season’s upon us. They posted our course map for my Tough Mudder and I’m not ready. For all of my training, I know I’m not ready.
It’s an uncomfortable feeling.
One I know well.
One I’ve become intimately familiar with over the last couple of years.
The wish for one more session at the gym, regretting every session you phoned in because you didn’t feel like it, wondering what you would do different if you could go back in time.
And while I hate it, I also know I’m going to leave the course stronger and proud of myself for what I did accomplish. I’m going to have a bunch of fun with my friends, even if I’m inwardly cringing over the idea of going through Electric Shock Therapy.
I’ve come to associate this feeling with some of my biggest leaps forwards, not just with my obstacle training.
Uncomfortable with my writing? Show it to my family and friends. Allow them to critique it and become a better writer.
Uncomfortable in the dojo? Spar with my teacher anyway. See where the holes truly are in my technique.
Super uncomfortable with my rolling for martial arts? Let my teacher pressure test it.
That last one, it turns out, isn’t as scary as I made it in my head. I have actually grown in my skills and can (mostly) safely roll away from danger.
Most of my problems stem from being very much in my head about things. I dislocated my shoulder years ago and rolling hurt because I was doing it wrong. And now it’s in my head that I’m going to hurt myself again even though I know how to do it right. I get super uncomfortable every time we have to roll in class, doubly so when we have to dive roll, but I do it anyway.
While I know I have a long way to go, being okay with being uncomfortable but doing the thing anyway pushes me to the next level. When I hit a plateau, I know it’s time to get really uncomfortable.
