Going Home
Nostalgia and getting closure.
I went back home to go to my high school reunion this weekend and it stirred up all sorts of feelings I though I had dealt with. I spent the weeks leading up to the event not sure if I truly wanted to face the tormentors of my past. I was a bundle of nerves to say the least.
I went, even though my best friend refused to go with me. Our classmates treated her worse than they treated me. I don’t blame her for skipping. I’m glad I went. Over the intervening years, everyone that showed up had mellowed out. Not many people came, which was disappointing to say the least. We all acknowledged the fact that we sucked as teenagers and young adults.
I got closure for that part of my life I didn’t expect. I now realize being an outcast in small town America made me stronger and more resilient (although it screwed me up for a few years after graduation).
While I was home, I also went through whatever I still had at my parents’ house. They kept a lot of toys and things that should’ve been donated years ago. I know it drove my mom crazy at how few things I actually wanted to keep. But really, it was important to me at the time (and in some cases, not at all) and it’s not anymore.
I’m sure there’s a lesson in there about hanging on to things and outdated ideas that I’m in the process of learning.
A few things made it into my car: a chair my sister painted for me, pictures, a few pieces of pottery, Barbie dolls for my friend’s daughter. The real question I had to ask was: if I hadn’t seen it, would I have missed it?
By and large, the answer was no. The few things I took, the answer was mostly yes.
Which got me to thinking about all the stuff I have in my life. If I had a fire tomorrow, would I miss most of my stuff?
Of course, now I’m in a cleaning frenzy and thinning out all of my stuff. It’s time to let go and move on with the next phase of my life.
Weekly Goals
Go to class: Failure.
Go to the gym twice: Failure. I think this is the first time that’s happened since I started writing here.
Sew ten dice bags: Success.
Write 7K words: Failure. I didn’t have as much free time when I was home to write and I had a lot of packing and cleaning to do before I left.
Read one book: Failure. See the explanation for writing.
