Going All In
Getting passed my procrastination
I feel like I’ve been coasting on autopilot and it’s making me restless.
It’s funny to think about considering all of the changes I’ve made in my life over the last year, but I know I can be pushing myself harder. I have a lot of procrastination techniques I need to unlearn.
I find myself slipping back and doing the bare minimum. I know part of the problem is there is nothing inherently wrong with my life. It’s fine. It’s comfortable.
I don’t want fine. I want extraordinary.
Otherwise, what’s the point?
The only time I go all in is during obstacle training. I swallow my fears and go for it, even if it means falling hard and getting bruised up (this week I managed to bruise both ring fingers and pull a muscle in my shoulder). Why am I so comfortable giving my all there and not with things that could improve the rest of my life?
Part of it is a fear of failure. I want to succeed in all parts of my life right away without going through the learning curve. I’m okay failing on the course because I come with a beginner’s mind, something I need to apply to the rest of my life.
I think that’s why I continue writing here, it’s something I can test and learn from while I get better at it. I have another new project in the works that’s been rattling around in my brain. It has a bigger learning curve, but it excites me.
I have a few days off where I can dig deep into what I want out of life and really think about how to restructure things to go all in. I’m excited to see what the next phase of me is. 2019 has been all about being fearless, mostly in doing physical stuff, and I’ve enjoyed learning how I can swallow my fears and do things. 2020 will be about embracing what I’ve learned and going all in on all the aspects of my life.
Weekly Goals
Read a book: Success. I read The Demon’s Possession by Kiersten Fay.
Write 7K words: Failure.
Sew 10 dice bags: Failure.
Go to the gym twice: Success.
Go to class: Failure.
