Carpe Diem Days
Why I say yes to things that scare me.
I started this thing in September where there are two days a year I say yes to things I normally wouldn’t. I’m not talking about things that are reckless, just things that push me outside my comfort zone.
I started thinking about doing these after the death of someone I cared about but hadn’t seen in years. I realized I wasn’t fully living my life and that the things I regretted were the ones I didn’t do. My two dates are closely related to this person, but I will never let my friends know the exact days because they would abuse it.
I feel like having two specific days helps me be more fearless the rest of the year. I don’t always wait for a Carpe Diem Day to say yes, but I know I will say yes more willingly on those dates. If an opportunity presents itself and it scares me but intrigues me, I want to take that chance. Even if it means I could be rejected. I’d rather have a pile of rejections than wonder if I could’ve gotten in.
On my very first Carpe Diem Day, I said yes to a lot. I was out with my friends at Six Flags. Normally, I would say no to going on Mr. Freeze because you stare at the ground before hurtling toward it. And I definitely say no to the Superman Tower of Power (can you tell I have a fear of heights?).
But I agreed to do both. Because I’m stupid.
My first thought after agreeing, while we were in line fore Mr. Freeze, was that I was out of my damn mind. But then my brain asked a very important question of what makes a better story: facing something I’m afraid of or chickening out.
Obviously, the better story is how Brett probably has hearing loss from me screaming at the top of Mr. Freeze instead of sitting it out. I swear I felt like I was going to fall out of the coaster. We didn’t do the Tower of Power that day because the line was too long, but it’s still there for me to do.
When we got home, Mike was talking about the obstacle course he had just completed and it sounded like fun. I quickly agreed to do one with him, even though I was woefully out of shape. That one became a 5K Tough Mudder.
It was a kick in the pants to work out and get into something that resembled decent enough shape to run.
Well, maybe not run, but my group did walk the course (there was no point in running because there were lines for every obstacle). I completed 11 of the 13 obstacles on our course. The two that defeated me were Everest and Texas Hold ’Em. Next year, I will overcome them.
Next year. Because, even though it wasn’t a Carpe Diem Day, I signed up to run a Classic course for Tough Mudder.
I left the course with something I didn’t expect: pride in myself for doing it. I fully expected to fail more obstacles because I didn’t train as hard as I could. I expected to completely freeze when it came time to climb the Mudderhorn (there was a moment at the top when I looked down three stories and freaked because that is high up).
It leaves me with a sense that I can do anything I want to. It makes me want to say yes to more (within my budget of course) and do things I never expected to be able to do.
What’s next? Who knows? Maybe I’ll actually run. Maybe I’ll take up a new hobby that challenges me. If you have any ideas, I’m open to suggestions.
Weekly Goal Update:
Go to the gym twice: Success!
Read one book: Success! I finished Captive of my Desires by Johanna Lindsey
Write 7K words: Failure. That is a hard one to write. I hand-wrote enough words by failed to type them up.
Go to class: Failure.
Sew 10 dice bags: Failure.
